Why is it that some people tend to hold everything in, while others appear to let everything out? Some people seem to just sail through the most aggravating situations, and yet others, blow sky-high at the least, little provocation. Angry outbursts are the result of various factors, circumstances brought about by any number of things such as:
- Low blood sugar
- Emotional triggers from years ago
- Pent up feelings that explode
- Frustrations with no healthy outlet
- Hidden resentments
- Long enduring aggravations
- Episodes of road rage
- Uncontrollable urges to release tension
- Hormonal imbalances – mood swings
- Loss of opportunities
- Overcompensation without appreciation
- Awareness that one is being taken advantage of
- Complicated conditions with no solutions in sight
- Blows to the ego
- Perceptions of weakness or vulnerability
- Unexpected changes
- Imposed shame
Feelings of uncontrollable rage are worth a word or two because they play havoc with our health and our sanity. More often than not, they encourage us to demonstrate our inner emotions through spontaneous outbursts that leave us feeling uncomfortable and disgraced for not having the where-if-all to control, neither the situation, nor ourselves.
One of the main reasons we lose it, so to speak, is because we are unaware of the intensity of our displeasure until it’s too late. In a sense, a person with a hair-trigger temper could be compared to a volcano, there is always something simmering just below the surface and given the right set of circumstances, it erupts.
The bad thing about unexpected anger is that it is rarely rational. Our fuming and resulting misbehavior cheats us because it takes away the very things that we want the most. It distances the people that we love and those who we want to love us back, making them apprehensive about their association with us.
One of the biggest reasons for unexpected anger is “expectation discrepancy.” Our fury generally arises after we realize that something that we anticipated occurring, does not come about, regardless of whether we should have counted on it, or not . To others, the issue may appear trivial but any attempts to convince the adult tantrum thrower are a waste of energy since rationale is near impossible when a person is locked into a fit of rage. In fact, any attempts at cooperation of communication in order to calm the situation, further aggravate the person who is unpredictably upset. What is worst is that all good intentions merely appear condescending and just end up fueling the fire storm.
As previously mentioned, stress is a big catalyst, sparking this particular form of furious irritation. When we feel as if we are out of control it is more difficult for us to restrain our emotions, exposing us to sudden displays of hissy fits of temper. Bottling up intolerable feelings until we just cannot take it anymore is one of the most common reasons for an explosion of anger but definitely not a justification for a tantrum.
Understanding ourselves better and what our limitations are is essential to controlling our outbursts. Our personal insights into how we cope with agitation and disappointing disturbances is offers us a key to better understanding the dynamics of what happens when we lose control. Knowing what sets us off in the first place is a good way to recognize what people and circumstances we need to steer clear of. By acknowledging the necessity for these vital barriers, we can ensure that more of our needs will be met, at least some of the time, and their very existence, demonstrates, if only to us, that maintaining emotional balance is an ongoing process that must be closely monitored and frequently.
More on this Topic –
Advice for Dealing with Adult Tantrums
What to do When a Loved One Explodes
Controlling Anger before it Controls You – Words to the Wise From the American Psychological Association
Do you need Counseling?
Anger and Buddhism – What do the Buddhists have to teach us about anger?
Is Anger Ever Justified – Psyche Forums
Song – Don’t Look Back In Anger
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