Archive for June, 2011

Secrets are burdens in a sense because they rest with us, and when they do, we become sentinels who often feel that we are charged with the responsibility to guard the gates of discretion, whether we care to, or not.  Not all secrets are meant to be shared, in fact, most are not.

Secrets if revealed to the wrong person however, can cause all kinds of havoc and can hurt and humiliate people who are generally unaware of the undisclosed information and the impact it could have on their lives. Some people go to their grave harboring secrets, for whatever the reason they know that what they know should be kept “close to their vest” and not shared.

Family members and criminals keep secrets because if others were aware of the truth it might cause them problems.  Secrets that come out of nowhere are the worst, because they shock and throw people’s lives off balance.  It can take years for an unsuspecting person who is the victim of someone else’s secret to recover from the jolt of being told what is “really” happening. 

When a person finally learns that they have been deceived they feel foolish because they have been the object of trickery for such a long time without even realizing it. Usually, what compounds the hurt is that the people that they trusted the most are involved.  They wonder how they could have closed their eyes and ears to what should have been so obvious until it was accidently discovered.    

The best way to avoid being burdened with a secret is to avoid being told one.  If someone attempts to take you into their confidence, decline to be involved.  Secrets are not cheap, they come with a high price tag, and it is a revolving charge, one than can cost more than most of us want to pay.

How to Get Anyone to Reveal a Secret


How to keep A Secret (Harvard psychologist)


How to Keep a Secret


Strange Real-Life Secrets


  How to Make a Secret Book Hollow


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“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”
Sir Edmund Hillary – (1st hiker / beekeeper to conquer Mt. Everest – highest point on earth)

As is the case with all things in life, there are certain indicators that signify that the most essential ingredients are present, and so too is this true of our professional careers.  What follows is a brief list of specifics that can be broken down and taken into account to establish a quantifiable snap shot of one’s success quotient. This checklist is by no means complete but is intended to foster further thought on the subject.

Definable Elements of Sure Successes –

  • Awareness of best version of self
  • Absences in personal fault-finding when complications arise related to situational tasks
  • Unyielding efforts to refine and improve one’s  professional self to meet expected capabilities
  • Constant dedication to increasing levels of navigational skill
  • Willingness to request assistance when appropriate or ability to defer to a designated counterpart
  • The power to be one’s self and the ability to act without the sanctioning from others
  • Fortification strategy for incidences that prove resistant but not futile
  • Altruistic answers that address the question “Why me?” during arduous intervals of professional challenges  
  • Constant rediscovery of professional and personal self and totally new applications for one’s innate talents and acquired skill sets
  • Discernment regarding assembly of indestructible support team infrastructures
  • Number of ideas that have inspired timely and timeless projects involving others that have come to completion
  • Continuous backup plan (both long and short-term) for failed attempts to meet objectives
  • Faith that “the best is yet to come” in terms of one’s creativity, innovation and ability to see to the end one’s passion and purpose in his or her career and personal life.

Remember, if there is something you truly want to accomplish in your life, you can refer to the example of the “Beekeeper turned World Explorer” to determine if what is inside of you can ever be actualized! He is a man who accomplished a feat unheard of before with the help of his imagination and sheer determination to do so.

What we can do that we may not know we are capable of – from Beekeeper to Explorer


Original Footage of Hillary’s climb to Top of Mt. Everest


Edmund Hillary’s Biography – an amazing turn of events & how he endured & turned his adversity around


Documentary of Hillary’s Ordeal


Interview with Hillary – questions answered about his hike 50 years after his success


Additional Betterment Aids for You to Investigate –

Improvement in Attitude


Achievement Quotes and Sayings


Acheiver’s Congress


Mentor Match Program


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We are what we most frequently do, I like to think and communicate my thoughts, my medium is writing.  I enjoy transferring my interpretations of people, places and things onto a daily blog for the purpose of sharing my perceptions with others who like to communicate their ideas and write about them.

It is not hard to come up with topics to write about, in fact, I am always jotting down something that captures my attention so that I can later expand on the notion.  The problem is not developing themes but in trying to put everything I have considered into a context that will (1) be relevant to others, (2) make sense to others (3) be memorable enough to merit the time that it takes for my readers to wade through my blog.

I find that there are so many exciting subjects in this world to cover that even after eighteen months of daily blogging, I am never at a loss as to what I will write about, it is just a question of how can I get everything covered, in a week or a month or before the end of the year.

Blogging, in my estimation is the best thing that has ever happened to me because it permits me an opportunity to learn new things every, single, day and to transfer my knowledge to others, who like me, want to broaden their understanding of everything and everyone around them.

Over the past year and a half, I have met a lot of nice people, brilliant human beings actually, that I might never have interfaced with had it not been for the process of blogging.  I am very appreciative of the privilege of free speech, there is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful to all those who have fought to make it possible for me to have a voice in this world. 

I love the Internet, having lived and having worked at a time when it did not exist, I never take it for granted. It has changed my life in so many ways by making it possible to have access to just about any and all forms of knowledge imaginable.  Years ago, I could have never conceived of the opportunity to send my words out into the universe over a system such as the World Wide Web.  What I really find amazing is how we can travel, visiting places we would not otherwise be able to venture to without even leaving our domiciles and how it allows us, virtually, within seconds, to connect with cultures from all over the planet.

I never know, when I sit down to write on a topic what I will learn and how I can incorporate that information into my blog content. It is always a pleasant revelation, most of the time I come up with an approach that I had not planned on taking, something completely out of the blue, simply because I become so inspired by what was disclosed to me, in my research. 

Providing links to other sites and expanding on the subject I am writing about is what makes blogging so interesting. I try to find opposite opinions or to cite references that support what I have written.  Whenever I run into another writer’s views, especially, those that mimic my own, I feel as if I am part of an enormous consensus.  It is a wonderful feeling to know that there are people out there, somewhere that I probably will never, ever, meet but with whom I know I share the same perceptions.  I just cannot envision a better human experience than relating to strangers in a way that substantiates my deepest beliefs in my own powers of observation by sharing the same impressions.

I hope that you too, will consider blogging, and if you do, you will take to it, as I have, and it will have a profound effect on how you see the world and everyone in it.

More on This Topic –

Cashing in on Blog Craze


Start Your Blog Today!


How to Find Readers for Your Blog


Great Blog! – Fuel for Leaders


Daily Blog Tips


Blog Lesson


Photo Blog


How to Start a Popular Blog


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A life of guaranteed good fortune or invulnerability, by virtue of a charm or spell (Phrase Finder) http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/189900.html  The term “A Charmed Life” originates all the way back to Shakespeare’s Macbeth, 1605.


  Thou losest labour:
    As easy mayst thou the intrenchant air
With thy keen sword impress as make me bleed:
Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests;
I bear a charmed life, which must not yield,
To one of woman born.

Shakespeare,W. (1605) Macbeth

Shakespeare used this phrase in Macbeth (5:8): “Let fall thy blade on vulnerable crests, I bear a charmed life, which must not yield to one of woman born.” In later years, the term was extended to anyone who narrowly escaped from danger or was similarly lucky. Retrieved from: A Charmed Life,  http://www.joe-ks.com/phrases/phrasesC.htm Phrases, Clichés, Expressions & Sayings.

How to know if you’re leading a charmed life, the characteristics of a charmed existence are as follows:

  • You bounce back quickly after a long bout with adversity
  • Not only do you have enough to eat but your meals are always satisfying, tasty and sumptuous
  • You are blessed with children and they respect and admire you as a person, not just as their parent
  • You forget all your cares when you dance and listen to upbeat music
  • You frequently sing or whistle a happy tune without even being aware that you are doing so
  • Your coworkers laugh at your jokes because they really do find them amusing
  • You enjoy the time you spend alone with yourself
  • You like the look of your home and frequently share it with friends whose company you cherish
  • You know you are fortunate to have transportation that you can depend upon and that offers you an opportunity to experience a sense of personal freedom
  • You have a rich and full spiritual life
  • You have hope when situations turn bleak and threatening
  • You have an appreciation for things that are aesthetic
  • You are a creative force in your own life and in the lives of others who recognize your gift to innovate
  • You play a musical instrument
  • You speak more than one language
  • You watch or engage in a sport that brings to you regular pleasure
  • You have people in your life that are kind and generous and treat you well
  • You wake up with energy and enthusiasm every day
  • You are a person who knows how to forgive and frequently does so
  • You have a natural inclination toward playfulness and lightheartedness
  • You excel at the majority of projects that you take on
  • You have a curious spirit and are always interested in the discovery of new facts and concepts and you integrate them into your life on a consistent basis
  • You have a healthy view of how you should look and feel at your age and are grateful for your attractiveness and wellness
  • You’re not a person who stays in a bad mood for an indefinite period of time, you know yourself and what you need to get out of a funk
  • Your colleagues think of you as an intelligent and industrious professional and often share their high opinions of you with others who are less observing of your attributes
  • You are loved dearly by a pet or two or more
  • When you are called upon to maintain self-control you have little problem acquiescing
  • Modesty is one of your strongest traits
  • People warm up to you right away and your never at a loss for friends or acquaintances
  • You are a practical person who has the where-if-all to handle whatever life hands out to you and the wisdom to make the best of your circumstances

When all is said and done,  a charmed life is nothing more or less than a life that is built around the practices and principles we wholeheartedly, believe in!


Give this Lady a Listen and Just Relax


More on this Topic –

Background information on the song – “He’s Got the Whole Word in His Hands”


Maria Callas – Operatic Performance of Lady Macbeth


Interesting Blog on the origin of “Charmed Life”


Author Kay Fay – Meanderings of an Aged Mind, a teacher who made her life charmed with the transference of her skills


A Tribute to His Teacher – a must see…


How to Live A Charmed Life


Charmed Life – Lovely song by composer  Joy Williams


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It seems as if a few lucky people are just born with a gay lightness about them and a real zeal for life.  Because of their attitude, they think and behave very differently from most people; they exhibit a joyness that we rarely see.

  • They never appear to grow weary of traveling.
  • They see the world as an adventure just filled with scenic beauty.
  • They adapt to wherever they are.
  • They are as happy in the countryside as they are in the outskirts or in the heart of a city.

  • They like to be in the middle of the action but equally, enjoy relaxed atmospheres.
  • They take very little for granted.
  • They have very few health issues.
  • They have sunny dispositions and are great to be around.

  • They are on a first name basis with just about everyone they meet.
  • They are vibrant and sophisticated.
  • They are comfortable in their own skin.
  • They have an enhanced set of morals and values and often turn their ideals into reality.

  • They are not waiting to be discovered, they know who they are, and what they have to offer others.
  • They are highly independent.
  • Their friendships are varied and not built only on similarities.

  • They constantly transmit their good energy to others.
  • They are lovers of life and people.
  • They are a treasure to us all.

More on This Topic –

Exuberance at the Oscars


Breakfast at Tiffany’s


Wild Women Don’t Have the Blues


Exuberant Female Wrestlers  


Funny High School Teacher


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Why is it that some people tend to hold everything in, while others appear to let everything out?  Some people seem to just sail through the most aggravating situations, and yet others, blow sky-high at the least, little provocation. Angry outbursts are the result of various factors, circumstances brought about by any number of things such as:

  • Low blood sugar
  • Emotional triggers from years ago
  • Pent up feelings that explode
  • Frustrations with no healthy outlet
  • Hidden resentments
  • Long enduring aggravations
  • Jealousy
  • Episodes of road rage
  • Uncontrollable urges to release tension
  • Hormonal imbalances – mood swings
  • Loss of opportunities
  • Overcompensation without appreciation
  • Awareness that one is being taken advantage of
  • Complicated conditions with no solutions in sight
  • Blows to the ego
  • Perceptions of weakness or vulnerability
  • Unexpected changes
  • Dismissal
  • Guilt
  • Imposed shame

Feelings of uncontrollable rage are worth a word or two because they play havoc with our health and our sanity.  More often than not, they encourage us to demonstrate our inner emotions through spontaneous outbursts that leave us feeling uncomfortable and disgraced for not having the where-if-all to control, neither the situation, nor ourselves.

One of the main reasons we lose it, so to speak, is because we are unaware of the intensity of our displeasure until it’s too late.  In a sense, a person with a hair-trigger temper could be compared to a volcano, there is always something simmering just below the surface and given the right set of circumstances, it erupts.  

The bad thing about unexpected anger is that it is rarely rational.  Our fuming and resulting misbehavior cheats us because it takes away the very things that we want the most. It distances the people that we love and those who we want to love us back, making them apprehensive about their association with us.

One of the biggest reasons for unexpected anger is “expectation discrepancy.”  Our fury generally arises after we realize that something that we anticipated occurring, does not come about, regardless of whether we should have counted on it, or not .  To others, the issue may appear trivial but any attempts to convince the adult tantrum thrower are a waste of energy since rationale is near impossible when a person is locked into a fit of rage. In fact, any attempts at cooperation of communication in order to calm the situation, further aggravate the person who is unpredictably upset.  What is worst is that all good intentions merely appear condescending and just end up fueling the fire storm.

As previously mentioned, stress is a big catalyst, sparking this particular form of furious irritation.  When we feel as if we are out of control it is more difficult for us to restrain our emotions, exposing us to sudden displays of hissy fits of temper.  Bottling up intolerable feelings until we just cannot take it anymore is one of the most common reasons for an explosion of anger but definitely not a justification for a tantrum.  

Understanding ourselves better and what our limitations are is essential to controlling our outbursts.  Our personal insights into how we cope with agitation and disappointing disturbances is offers us a key to better understanding the dynamics of what happens when we lose control.  Knowing what sets us off in the first place is a good way to recognize what people and circumstances we need to steer clear of. By acknowledging the necessity for these vital barriers, we can ensure that more of our needs will be met, at least some of the time, and their very existence, demonstrates, if only to us, that maintaining emotional balance is an ongoing process that must be closely monitored and frequently.

More on this Topic –

Advice for Dealing with Adult Tantrums


What to do When a Loved One Explodes


Controlling Anger before it Controls You – Words to the Wise From the American Psychological Association


Do you need Counseling?


Anger and Buddhism – What do the Buddhists have to teach us about anger?


Is Anger Ever Justified – Psyche Forums


Song – Don’t Look Back In Anger


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Life can really be rough, especially, during or right after a particularly difficult period we need to recoup.  Trying to go on as usual is not the best strategy because our circumstances change us and we are not the same person as we were before we encountered our trauma.  Many times, we have negative circumstances, and they occur back-to-back and it is while we are going through these tough periods that it really helps to have a plan to keep our wits about us.  

Here is a brief list I have compiled of some things that can help us weather some pretty rough storms when life gets to be a little too much. Pass it on…

  • Take an inventory of your blessings
  • Look beyond the physical – think universally
  • Celebrate the ordinary moments
  • Wake up grateful every morning
  • Retire every night knowing that you have made the most of your day
  • Rely on your curiosity to make your world feel new again
  • Exercise your sense of humor, laugh a lot
  • Make an assessment of the things that you have always said you might like to learn about
  • Think of others who have survived their traumas as instructors at the University of Life
  •  Read stories and listen to audio versions of other survivors
  • Learn as much as possible about positive psychology and then practice it religiously
  • Sketch, draw or paint your emotions on a routine basis
  • Start a picture journal
  • Redecorate
  • Move to an environment that reinvigorates you or visit a place that you find refreshing, often
  • Adopt a pet or foster one
  • Develop a plan to better care for your overall well-being
  • Practice faith, hope and charity
  • Write your memoirs
  • Take up a new hobby
  • Study the theories of philosophers
  • Meditate
  • Exercise both mind and body
  • Spend some solitary time in the midst of nature
  • Pick a topic a week and research it
  • Spend some time as a volunteer
  • Have a private party to honor your presence in this world every single month on the same day as your birthday
  • Learn to sew or knit
  • Build sand castles on the beach
  • Take a new car for a test drive
  • Join a support group – make friends with individuals who share a similar experience to that of your own
  • Have a dinner party and invite people you would like to get to know better
  • Get a massage or practice yoga

Some Other Survival Aids for Times of Trouble

3 Books on the Subject –to provide you with more comfort and some needed Enlightenment!

The Sun Will Shine Again by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

GratitudeA Way of Life by Louise L. Hay

Something More, Excavating your Authentic Self by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Laugh at Stress – DVD


Internet Article –

10 Keystones to Surviving Emotional Trauma


Comfort objects for Small Children to the Elderly


How to stop a Male Midlife Crisis


Personal Empowerment Let You Bend in Times of Crisis


Checklist for Hard Times


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Clarification of the factors leading to “Makeup Artistry Intelligence

  • Entering into domain of more complex aesthetic concepts
  • Preponderance of problematic obstructions to aesthetic enhancements
  • Plentitude of cosmetic artistry knowledge
  • Social propensity –  emotional challenges
  • Warmth and control

Social Considerations of Aesthetic Conversion

Practitioners of Cosmetic Science

  • Taking profile readings and gauging temperature of client
  • Providing pathways for the attainment of personal enhancement / beauty personification in the physical realm
  • Assistance in bridging new states of identity – discovery and reflection
  • Strong sense of involvement
  • Hyper-sensitivity to unseen phenomena
  • Evaluation of subject’s expectations
  • Mindfulness of makeup subject’s concerns
  • Harsh scrutiny and submission

 Awareness of subject’s emotional stages and dynamics involved when moving toward greater self-acceptance

  • Adaptation to invisible forces of resistance involved in aesthetic transformation
  • Consideration of client’s self-appraisal of cosmetic enhancement
  • Helpful persuasion and positive reinforcement
  • Outgrowth observed
  • Triumph of treatment
  • Admiration of facial façade
  • Ultimate value attainment

Technical Approaches and Solutions Analyzed

  • Effect of different colors
  • Textures and tones
  • Technical precision – control over implements and cosmetic aids
  • Understanding of facial plane
  • Bringing order to disorder of facial features
  • Taking counter measures to neutralize imperfections
  • Attention to straight and right angles
  • Recognizing limitations of makeup artistry until it translates into effective learning exercise
  • Building up of subject’s technical skills through a well thought-out sequence of competencies
  • Assurance of transference of cosmetic talents and technical expertise

Treatment Complete

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All the things listed below are an invitation to see life differently.

  • Following the connection of interrelated elements in our lives
  • Being aware of underlying meanings
  • Opening ourselves up to what is aesthetic
  • Fully participating in the human experience
  • Moving away from affectlessness
  • Withdrawing from depersonalization
  • Deserting our feelingless existence
  • Experiencing luxury without expense
  • Avoiding the emptiness of despair
  • Getting into the rhythm of stimulus   
  • Taking the opposite point of view
  • Observing female patterns and male tendencies
  • Being in a tribe or taking part in the rat race
  • Rightly applying ourselves to the concerns of the left
  • Longing for and reaching out
  • Embracing tension and then releasing it
  • Asking an absurd question without expecting an answer
  • Gaining and giving insights into love
  • Impelling ourselves to seek higher forms of the truth
  • Narrowing the gap between becoming and being
  • Containing spirit but conceiving soulfulness
  • Transmuting power from inside to outside
  • Falling in love with hesitation
  • Proclaiming assuredness in place of self-consciousness
  • Advancing daily toward Nirvana
  • Tossing off ready-at-hand explanations
  • Hurling ourselves into a new state of consciousness
  • Creating elements of joy and laughter in our everyday endeavors
  • Setting our fantasies in motion
  • Rallying for our own independence
  • Appealing to the more assertive aspects of our nature
  • Nurturing our broadmindedness
  • Trying harder to see reality
  • Deciding what is of crucial importance to us
  • Recognizing that freedom is only an illusion
  • Participating in the world
  • Separating intentionality from purpose
  • Living out our problems
  • Becoming more conscious of our culture
  • Encountering both sides of self
  • Refreshing our identity
  • Giving ourselves a new name

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If you are anything like me, you have invested a lot in your relationships and sometimes you find that you do not get much nurturing in return.  The majority of us seem to have at least one high-strung person in our lives, perhaps, this individual is a close friend, romantic interest or a close family member that tends to be self-centered and could be easily be defined as a “Crazy Maker.”

Crazy Makers are subtle and deceptive personality types who, more often than not:

  • Encourage us to lower our standards
  • Constantly question our every move
  • Exploit our talents and skills whenever they can
  • Dismiss our feelings
  • Ask for our help when they need it
  • Are always grieving over someone or something in their past
  • Constantly crying out “Why Me?”
  • Are bulldozers over others who are less assertive
  • Manipulators of the truth
  • Routinely shut down communication with us
  • Are irritable a good majority of the time with everyone and everything
  • Dissatisfied with their lives and everyone else’s
  • Blame others for their misery
  • Short-tempered and impatient
  • Bottomless pits of unhappiness
  • Chronic complainers
  • Repetitive speakers
  • Story changers  and false alarmists
  • Prevaricators
  • Poor listeners
  • Unwarranted doubters
  • Keepers of secrets
  • Lack faith in themselves and in us
  • Persons with misguided emotions
  • People who are ill-prepared for the normal sorrows of life
  • Individuals who are at odds with someone, somewhere, most of the time
  • People who pretend to please but who could care less about anyone else
  • Are sly and somewhat sneaky
  • Charismatic and phony – basically, workers of the room

At the end of the day, I suppose, we are all Crazy Makers in a manner of speaking, what is different is to what degree.  We unload our problems on one another thoughtlessly, without warning or without thinking of how what we are saying might impact our listeners.  Sooner or later people resent being talked at instead of being talked to.  No one likes to feel as if they are nothing more than a sounding board for an overly emotional reactor. 

We all need occasional backup when things get tough for us and turnabout needs to be fair play, but listening on the other end of the phone line in puzzlement, not knowing what it is that is expected from us, can cause more than a hint of frustration on our end. Crazy makers make us feel used and most often, ineffectual. 

It’s not news to any of us that good friends make each other feel safe, and give one another a sense of refuge when they open their hearts and share their problems. When we feel as though, what is happening to us is of equal importance, then there is a natural ebb and flow of support. 

Unfortunately, however, crazy makers want more than someone to lend them an ear; they come at us, at a fevered pitch, which consequently, inspires unwanted changes in our emotional posture.  For Crazy Makers, timing is a non-essential factor; they think nothing of calling around our bedtime and going berserk while describing an unpleasant episode in their lives. You know what I mean; most of us have all had an urgent call at some time or another from someone, who prior to speaking to us, has become highly enraged. They start off calm but within a matter of seconds they are veering down the runway and their temper takes flight and before we can utter a single sigh; they are high-flying, screaming into the phone at us.

Crazy Makers peg us early on as soft touches; they are quite assured that we will be ultra-responsible, caring and empathetic to their “immediate” concerns.  They take advantage of our kind nature in countless ways, but none as much as the way they take us for granted. The best way to protect ourselves from being abused is to speak out and say what are needs are, to create boundaries and make sure that we protect ourselves from being exploited.  We cannot expect Crazy Makers to practice reasonableness.  We must allow for emergency situations to come up now and again but not permit ourselves to be shortchanged by the one-sidedness of our relationships.

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