Asking for help is sometimes a little like pulling a rabbit out of a hat, you never know what is going to come out! I rarely ask for help, but when I do I hardly ever get it.
The fastest way to experience brotherly love, or lack of it, is to ask for a favor. I do not enjoy asking for things because it creates an unfair dynamic and shifts the balance to where things can quickly become one-sided.
But like it or not, we are all connected and the way we relate to one another is just another expression of the way we experience ourselves. If we respect others, we can afford to be generous, and if we do not, most likely, we will be compelled to hold back.
When we ask for someone’s help we should always be prepared to be denied, we go into situations where we can expect little, if anything, with the attitude of nothing ventured, nothing gained. I try to think ahead, if I am denied what my next move will be if I have to go it alone.
Not expecting support is a good way to go because it ultimately, leads to less disappointment. If someone does show me a kindness, it’s all the better, asking for help and getting it turns out to be a pleasant surprise, if nothing else.
Offering one’s assistance should be strictly a matter of the heart. The best kind of help is when someone lends us a hand because he or she chooses to do so and not because a gain of some sort is indicated by his or her actions.
Most of us would rather pass on someone’s support when it becomes apparent that the favor that is being granted is being done reluctantly.
People come up with numerous reasons when they decide to deny their aid. We should not object to their refusal, although, it can be embarrassing at times.
I suppose there is a certain amount of selfishness that exists in all of us, including me, but there is nothing worse than hearing a phony excuse from someone who has resources to help eradicate a difficulty.
The worst scenario is when you request help from a person and they come back at you with a “maybe” instead of a definitive “yes” or” no.” I call this a form of neurotic indecision, and I find it exasperating. The confusing part is that it most frequently comes from the most well-meaning person.
He or she just cannot seem to make up his or her mind and keeps going back and forth without any indication of what they will do. What generally happens is that he or she waits until it is the eleventh hour to commit and by then I have come up with an alternative.
I believe that even when I cannot get any help at all I still have an option. I can reevaluate my circumstances to determine if there is another solution, and low and behold, there generally is!
Most importantly, after we hear the word “No” we must not absorb the hurt , incidents of rejection are far from uncommon. Remembering that we have all been there is essential to minimizing the sting that comes with the words “no way.” Think about it, none of us are ever really alone during these episodes of indignity! When we ask for help, we must never forget why we asked for it in the first place and above all, we must not give up hope – if whatever we are asking for is that vital to us, we must keep requesting assistance, because there are people out there that will say a resounding “Yes!” We just have to be willing to go through what we must to find them!
What to Do When They Say No To You –
Take A Pause – Think and Listen to This and “Create” and come up with another Solution
Let Go and “Forgive Them for They Know Not What They Do”
Listen to Luke 23
Getting Past No
How Not to Be Annoying
Controlling ANGER before it Controls you!
All About the Crucifying of the Ego – “A Must Read” from anonymous source
How to Ask for Help when you need it the Most