Friendships are formed through shared experiences and last because of common values and mutual caring. If your relationships are missing many of the characteristics that healthy friendships should have you may need to broaden your base of support. That being said, we first, have to have a handle on what is, in our opinion, a good friendship. It has been said the best way to have a friend is to be one but it is also important to know what you need from a another person in a friendship and be clear with the people who are the closest to you about that. If we have an idea of what is acceptable and not acceptable in a friendship we have a better chance at having one. No friendship is ever perfect or ideal. Every relationship has its ups and downs and temporary trials and tribulations. Being connected to another as a friend always involves a certain amount of compromise and tradeoffs. However, if your needs in your friendships are consistently not being met, then, it very well may be time for you to expand your territory and look for some new companions to experience life with elsewhere.
Here some help in broadening your base of support –
- Try seeing people for who they are not who you want them to be all the time
- Recognize why you are constantly attracted to certain types of people with certain personalities and steer away from persons who have the same tendencies to hold back or reject you just when you need them the most
- Spend some time nurturing a rich and satisfying social life
- Be patient. Friendships do not occur overnight. They have to be cultivated and they generally take a while to form.
- Look for like-minded people who enjoy many of the same things
- To make new friends take up a study or volunteer
- Attend functions where you can join up with people who you have things in common with
- Don’t sit home and expect to meet people you have to get out and extend yourself
- If you do hook up with someone who has the potential to be a friend make contact soon after meeting them and keep the momentum going
- Find a neighborhood haunt and frequent it
- Join a club or an association and get to know the people who attend the meetings by joining them afterward for a bite to eat
- Ask questions and see if you can find common areas of interest – movies, theater, art, sports, hobbies, anything that will break the ice and lead to a flow in conversation will put you off to a good start.
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