In the book “Caring- The Compassionate Healer” Gaut and Leininger, (1991) I located what I think is a good model for constructive consultations for problem solving. Only, interestingly enough, it is cited as a method to use with care-giving. The authors define three ways to increase awareness of our implicit and explicit circumstances when problems come up. The first is empirical knowing (identifying the observable and the verifiable). The second way is the Ethical (identifying our personal frame of reference) and finally, the third is aesthetic knowing (the perception of energy dynamics such as rhythm, proportion, balance and unity of a situation). It is in this aesthetic knowing that interrelationships can occur. It is in this phase when we reach out and access the advice of another that the unity of combined perceptions from the mutual being of collaborative intelligence helps us find resolution. Asking for others who we respect to get involved helps us to stay present and face the unknown. Talking with someone who we know really cares feeds our determination to work out our issues and their involvement gives us a chance to do so with less anguish. If we will only allow it, this form of energetic engagement will provide us with an opportunity for mutual-minded troubleshooting. But, first we must surrender our anger and frustration over our situation if we want more poignant moments of human connection. Asking the right person, the right questions, at the right time can instantly neutralize our desperation. When we interface with an individual who is trying to help us turn our problem around we bring aspects of our dilemma out into the open and into the light through discussion so they can be thoroughly analyzed and worked through. The 20/80 formula (20% speaking and 80% listening) is the ratio required for a consultation to be truly effective. Of course, we must always remember that all problems can only be neutralized by us and us, alone!