VICTIMS OF SELF-BLAME AND SHAME – breaking the cycle

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VICTIMS OF SELF-BLAME AND SHAME – breaking the cycle

January 30, 2011 by Victoria Rayner

Everyone at one time or another has been in a position where they have been accused of taking an action that was considered inappropriate. I had such an incident happen to me today. I was trying to be discreet and to communicate with someone who had neglected to fulfill a promise to me and instead of a gentle reminder; my message was sent out to others who I would have preferred did not see it. I did everything I possibly could do and there was nothing I could have done differently that would have prevented this circumstance from happening.

After taking every precautionary measure to correct the situation including writing a letter of apology to the recipient and devising a way to ensure that such a dilemma would not occur again, I was left with only one thing to do, and that was to forgive myself. When we are our own victims of self-blame it is even more difficult to forgive ourselves than if our actions are condemned by others.

Situations such as serve as spiritual reminders that these are times when we must turn to God and ask that he gives us the relief we are seeking from our mishaps. God is all knowing and all seeing. He bears witness to our truths as well as to our fabrications. When we take into account that throughout our lifetime (before and beyond) it is the Lord who casts judgment upon us, and only the Lord, we do not determine for ourselves how we should view such episodes. We can only relieve ourselves of the guilt that accompanies inappropriate or accidental actions if we give these episodes directly to God and let him show us the way to redemption.